No Wrath Like Mother Nature's
by operationhades
Summary: ONESHOT. It's expected of Time to be late, simply because he always late. But, Mother Nature thinks, for Time to be a whole WEEK late. Oooh, that silver-haired idiot's going to PAY. Kakairu


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto or any of it's characters, make no profit, yada yada yada, blah blah blah, I am but a mere pawn in the grand design of life. Totally not responsible if anybody starts thinking natural disasters are because Kakashi's late. Again.

**AN: **Might want to read **What Death Does Off Duty **first, but you don't have too, it just sets the mood/place for this in a way. With that said, this was written _years ago_, during my first forays into fanfic writing. I'm reposting this since I'm purging slash stuff from the original account it was on. I'm also not going to change a single thing about this, since I like looking at old stuff and cringing at just how terrible I was back then. It's morbidly entertaining.

* * *

******NO WRATH LIKE MOTHER NATURE'S  
**_operationhades  
__december 2010_

_For rizember_

Kakashi was going to _pay._

Pacing, the brunette paid no heed to the screaming terror of the people to his right. He paid no heed to the volcano rumbling, groaning, smoke billowing from it's top and spewing small tongues of reddish flames, all of which was to his left. He simply continued walking back and forth, across the small walking distance, back and forth, back and forth, _back and forth. _

_Oh Kakashi would __pay_.

Growing angrier by the minute, Mother Nature paced faster, legs jerkily moving with each step thundering with the force of his scorn. His hair bobbed wildly in the high ponytail he kept it in, his brown eyes, which were usually kind and generous, were narrow and cold, the very remnants of ancient power and _anger _swirling behind their apparent blandness. He didn't hear the people of the small rural village calling to him, thinking he was but a poor fool, a poor foreigner, who didn't understand the magnitude of the situation. They tried vainly to call him, even going as far as to use the broken pieces of English that they knew (after all, English _is _the international language, no?); but the kind man with the scar on his nose, the one who'd only come a week ago, did not hear them (or so they thought) among the volcano's churning.

In fact, Mother Nature really_ hadn't_ heard them, too busy stewing in his own anger he was, too busy thinking and thinking and _thinking_, pacing back and forth, back and forth, back and _forth_, too busy constantly checking the small average-quality watch on his right wrist at every sharp turn to pace the opposite direction. Seconds ticked by (_he could see, dammit), _minutes followed, and the minutes kept accumulating in a frightening speed that it was no surprise a vein was bulging on Nature's forehead.

As he paced, the smoke coming from the volcano began growing, dark grey clouds ominously forming a skeleton of doom, and the few villagers who'd gathered up their courage to approach the foreigner squealed and ran in the opposite direction for their lives. The god/deity/man paid them no heed once more, he barely even saw them through the tunnel vision of his pure rage, and instead began seeing how long it would take him to wear down a sort of barrier between the path, a horizontal one that people would speculate and create myths and tales about decades later.

A small dislocation of air caught his attention, though, and with his right eye twitching in a sign universally known as _'oh god run for your life' _Sasuke popped out of nowhere, palms already up in a placating manner as if dealing with a violent cat, eyes frantically looking every but directly at his old teacher. _'That's right,' _Iruka thought with a small sliver of smugness, _'I taught him and the kids when they first started out… __They__ know not to anger me; ooh, if only someone had told Time…'_

Smiling pleasantly with his right eye still twitching, Iruka turned to face Death, body poised and sprung as if he were a panther stalking his prey (Sasuke), and put on his most polite (deadliest) voice he could muster.

"Naa, Sasuke-kun… Do you happen to know where Kakashi is…?"

The volcano quieted down slightly, as Iruka took great sadistic pleasure in the small _whimper _Sasuke gave knowing full well the younger Uchiha would never admit to such a thing even under pain. But Sasuke moved not an inch; in fact, he actually _took a couple steps back_, knowing that an angry Iruka was _far more preferable _to the expression that was currently on Iruka's face. Simply said; the whole situation (plus the volcano) screamed 'the calm before the storm'.

_It was like a mix between Kyuubi, Itachi and Orochimaru, but with something __distinctly_ _original. _

Rumours among the gods stated the looks from the three aforementioned men _originated_ fromIruka. And considering Itachi had challenged him to a match of Rock, Paper, Scissors as to who would come here (and kicked his ass; _'damn you Itachi!') -_- well that spoke volumes.

But Sasuke _didn't want to be here._

Trying to use the wonders of logic, Sasuke once more picked up his hands which had started lowering (no, they were _not _shaking) and put them in the universal sign of placating. He dared to take a step forward, and when no right eye twitched, took another, but only one more. Maybe if he spoke _reeeaaallly slooowllyy _and _e-nun-ci-ated _everything Iruka would calm down. Maybe.

"Sasuke-kun… Don't make me repeat myself…"

He totally did not just eep. Still, he looked around trying to think of how to phrase whatever the hell he was going to say. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Naruto materialize right next to the edge of the forest, squeak in fear, and materialize right out. _'Damn it,' _the dobe could have actually _helped, _he could have been _useful! 'Sucks that he chose now to finally get a brain.'_

"I-I," _he did not just stutter. Nope. Absolutely not. _"I don't know, haven't seen him for a week or something."

Shit, wrong answer. Iruka's body became rigid for a whole second, then it sagged as if he'd finally given up. Sasuke didn't have the time to hope, for just as he was even _entertaining _the idea that maybe Mother Nature had resigned himself to whatever great peril he was in, Iruka looked up, locking pitch black obsidian eyes with the churning sea of brown that were his own.

They were _livid._

Finally, _finally, _the volcano went silent for but a split second and then burst in a grand display of red, orange and yellows, the molten lava spurting from the open top and slowly leaking over the edges like a disgusting display of slime. Sasuke took absolutely no notice of it, too busy staring wide-eyed like a deer in headlights at the two brown irises that _death glared _right back at him. Oh _god, _what had Kakashi done now?

"So…" Iruka's voice was a beautiful melody. Sasuke _bloody well _whimpered loudly this time. "… You're telling me Kakashi's been off the radar for this whole _week_!" After the first word, and after the pause, Iruka's voice had steadily climbed in tenor, climbing in decibels as well, until the last two words were all but screamed high to the skies where Sasuke had an inkling Iruka wished Kakashi would hear.

Sasuke always knew that bastard would kill himself.

And essentially, that's what Kakashi had done. It was widely known by _everybody_, including _Orochimaru_, that Iruka was _not a happy duckling _when angered, nor was he naïve, gullible, innocent, pure, blah blah blah, yada yada yada, all that crap. The only people that seemed to _not _know where Kakashi and Kyuubi, and the latter had learnt that lesson the _hard_ way. _'That poor fucker.'_

It seemed now was Kakashi's time.

"Yo!"

… And this man called himself _Father Time_?

Slowly, Iruka turned to look at the newcomer, rage barely dancing on his features. His cheeks were heavily flushed, the scar across his nose and cheeks making it more pronounced, more noticeable. He noted the bastard actually _gleamed _on seeing him, practically swinging on his feet, looking for all the world like he was going to show his parents a drawing he did at school. He was just so _happy_, standing there, with that damn mask of his hiding half of his face, _which only made it even more infuriating_. You could _see _the bastard's _glee _from all the way here, with his face covered, his one visible eye (a quarter of his damn _face!_) squinted so hard in joy there were wrinkles visibly bunching up.

Iruka heard something snap.

Apparently it was his sanity, for the next second he found himself lunging at the man with a feral growl, arms in front of him pushing the man down on the floor. Now straddling the _bastard who dared kept him waiting for so long! _he fisted the black turtleneck the Keeper of Time almost always wore, wishing he had deadly fingernails like Kyuubi to _scratch the motherfucker up_, but instead settled (rather enthusiastically) into shaking the bastard back and forth, back and forth, back and _forth_, watching with his own twisted glee as the _silver _("It's not gray, Ruka-chan! It's silver!") hair that defied all the laws of gravity _he'd freakin' set in place for a reason _practically sway with the force. He heard Sasuke's _shunshin_, signalling the young man had _run the fuck away_, but didn't once slow down, instead adding _more force _to his shaking and thumping the man on the floor.

"YOU-" _thump_ "-WERE-" _shake _"-SUP-" _thump _"-POSED-" _shake_ "-TO-" _thump _"-MEET-" _shake_ "-ME-" _thump_ "-HERE-" _shake _"-A-" _thump _"-_WEEK-" shake "-_A-" _thump _"-GO!"

Kakashi could do nothing more but continue to be the rag doll to Iruka's temper, wincing in pain every time the back of his head collided rather painfully with the floor. He was dizzy, black spots were dancing in his vision, and all he could make sense off in the blurry action of being shaken was Iruka's furious face looming over him. Despite the pain, despite the motion sickness he was suffering from and was _bound _to be traumatised because off, he couldn't find himself to care, instead being riveted as he gazed back in silent awe at Mother Nature.

Iruka's cheeks were even more red than when he'd stalked up to him, eyes burning with righteous anger, passion and _so many emotions _that had Kakashi speechless for the first time in his life. The man was full of so much _heat_, _warmth_, he was just so _genuine _and with no deception whatsoever, Kakashi didn't know how he was ever lucky to have even _met _such a person in his life; after all, did anybody ever associate Time with Nature? It was with these thoughts, however, that Kakashi, while being shaken to a quantum molecular precision, blurted out something that he usually just kept to his mind and interrupted Iruka's rant that was more of a background noise to all the shaking.

"You're beautiful."

Granted, his voice wavered at every letter as he was being shaken, but by the abrupt stop and the tensing of the man above him, Kakashi could tell that Iruka had been able to make sense of his garbled declaration. Apprehensively, he watched with his one eye as the man seemed to fight an inner battle, as if trying to decide whether Kakashi had said that only to get out of trouble, or if he'd said it with pure honesty.

Of course, the silver-haired male felt bad having kept the kind hearted Iruka waiting for a whole _week_. Even he'd never been _that _late to anything he'd proposed, usually he just kept his tardiness from a few minutes to a few hours - and only to mess with people and irritate them, or in Iruka's case, get that cute blush on his face whenever the man finally found him and screamed his ear off. But it was inevitable, and if Kakashi had to do it again, the only thing he'd change was his information on Iruka.

Really, it was actually all _Iruka's _fault. If only the man was easier to understand and predict! _'But alas,' _Kakashi thought mournfully, _'if he were easier to predict he wouldn't be fun.' _Aaah, the things he did for love.

"-ou think I'll just let you get away with _flattery_?"

Quickly, Kakashi shook his head rapidly, regretting the action seconds later when his whole world turned upside down. Regaining his sense of balance soon after, he used his physically stronger body to sit up, forcing Iruka to straddle his lap (_ooooh, lucky~!_) and held the man tightly before he could escape. Before Iruka could speak again, Kakashi used his right hand to yank his mask down, then throw the silk material of his usually covered eye, making sure to hold Iruka tightly in case he tried to knee him in the face.

With as much honesty, truth and _sincerity _that he could muster, Kakashi stared into Iruka's eyes and mentally _willed _the man to understand. "I'm sorry I kept you waiting for so long. I would never hurt you or take advantage of you, but I couldn't come here any sooner; there was something I had to do."

Immediately, he knew he'd said the wrong thing, for hurt flashed across the rich eyes looking at him, and Iruka turned away from here. Kakashi could feel the hands on his chest bunch up the material, most likely to try and help Iruka focus in keeping his emotions away from Kakashi, and the elder male cursed under his breath at his tactless words. He didn't mean to imply that there was something more important than being with Iruka, nor did he mean to imply that there was something _so much more_ important than his brown haired lover to keep him away for a whole _week_. Grabbing Iruka's chin, he brought the man's face to meet his again, took a deep breath and tried once more.

"No, Iruka- don't look away. I didn't mean it like that, Ruka, you know that." Once he was certain Iruka wouldn't turn away from him again, he fumbled around a bit, searching every pocket on his person, and gave a small sigh when he finally found the small, dark blue, rectangular box. With as much reverence as if holding a priceless artefact, he brought the little box between them, bringing it to Iruka's attention. The mentor to many of the younger deity's warily looked at it, still not reassured of Kakashi's sincerity, but willing to give the man a chance. That was another thing Kakashi loved about this man; the ability to forego suspicion, doubt and every other negative emotion in a hope for something positive.

After a few tentative moments, Iruka's curiosity began getting the better of him, and impatiently he glared at Kakashi, not wanting to be rude and simply grab the box. Kakashi's deep chuckle eased him somehow, just like it always did, and he found himself blushing as the man leaned in while systematically pulling Iruka further onto his lap and placed a chaste kiss on his nose.

"There's no need for patience here, Iruka. Open it. It's what kept me away from you for so long."

Blushing even more furiously, Iruka's fingers wrapped around the box, intermingling with Kakashi's own, and carefully opened the box up. Inside it was a simple silver band, with the Japanese kanji for crow embedded on it. It was only then, while staring at the ring, that a glint caught his attention and he found himself looking at Kakashi's long, pale fingers, or specifically, looking at Kakashi's ring finger where a similar band, but this one gold, glinted as it reflected light.

On it were the two Japanese kanji's for dolphin.

Kakashi was talking again, but Iruka could barely understand a word the man was saying, in shock at what he was seeing. Kakashi's pale piano fingers took the ring out of it's plump cushion, and deftly pushed them to rest snugly at the base of Iruka's ring finger, and unconsciously placing his own ring finger with the gold band right next to Iruka's new silver band.

"-rying to find the right ones for us, none of them seemed right, and I absolutely refused to come here until I had them. I've already put this off too many times, just look at how many centuries it's already been, but finally, _finally_, Iruka, I've done it, and I can only hope you'll forgive me-"

"-What?"

Baffled, Iruka stared incredulously at the silver haired man, looking straight at the gray and red eyes as if the other male had finally lost his marbles. Kakashi looked surprised to be interrupted, but then stared back in confusion and replayed what he'd said wondering whether he'd walked onto a land mine again or something. Nope, nothing he said seemed wrong, and Iruka didn't look _angry_, just incredulous. On seeing that Kakashi really didn't understand what Iruka was questioning, the man stared back at the rings and looked up at Time once more.

"You've just given me a ring and shown me a matching one for you, said that you've been searching for them for _centuries _and refused to come meet me until you had them, and you're worried about being _forgiven?"_

Silence fell upon the pair, and Kakashi mulled over his lovers words but found himself stuck repeatedly on one thing. "So… Does this mean you're not angry…?"

Completely taken aback by just how strange the situation was, Iruka found himself laughing heartedly as he kept looking at the rings and Kakashi, always looking back at the other as if to make sure it was all real. Kakashi beamed in happiness as a small drizzle of rain befell the area, falling upon the volcano and cooling the hot lava that had stopped flowing throughout the two men's discussion. The scent of fresh rain falling swirled around them, and Kakashi once more found himself musing on how he'd been able to ensnare someone like Iruka. He watched in growing fondness as the man took of the ring and peered at the bottom of it, reading the kanji for dolphin on his own. The tanned man put the ring back on, then took of Kakashi's and peered underneath it, seeing it say "crow", just like it was written on the top of his silver ring.

"Maa," Kakashi began, feeling the need to explain, "The crow and dolphin are from our names. You have crow, because I'm your partner, and I have dolphin because you're mine. But underneath it, there's dolphin for you, because that's who you are, and that's what makes me love you, and underneath mine is crow, because that's who I am…"

"… And that's why I love you."

Iruka laughed as Kakashi looked disgustingly happy, admiring the silver on his finger. He knew there was another thing Kakashi had taken into consideration, and it warmed his heart that the man was probably too embarrassed to mention it. Kakashi's ring was gold, as if to symbolise Iruka being darkly tanned, while Iruka's own was silver just to show how pale Kakashi was.

While many people rarely associated them together, Time and Mother Nature were really one and the same, two entities that constantly went hand in hand, and perhaps the oldest of all the deity's. Death only came from Life, and Life only came from Death. Nature provided them a _place_, while Time gave them a schedule and instructed them. From then on came the others, and Kakashi and Iruka had watched on as the rest of their precious circle had introduced themselves, bringing with them a sense of family that was now constantly present among them all.

But throughout it all, the one constant in their ever changing lives, were each other, and Kakashi fancied himself to see the future also including them, just like this, surrounded by greenery and life as the sun began setting marking the beginning of night, surrounded by both their ability.

He wasn't pleased when Iruka finally scrambled off his lap, and whined as the man made no moves to come back. Iruka glared at him, calmly though with not much anger, and shook a finger at him.

"You've still made me wait a _whole week _here, with absolutely _no word_, when you could have simply made Sasuke send word to meet you here _a week later_."

Kakashi pondered this for a second, then his eyes widened as he realised that he could have just done that rather than make the man wait in the rural village. He sheepishly scratched his nape, a habit Iruka hated and said Naruto got from him, and almost eeped when Iruka's expression turned furious.

"You didn't _think _of that, did you! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, KAKASHI!"

Kakashi was already gone.

**End.**

* * *

**Omake:**

Sasuke was going to _kill that man_.

He'd been working _non-stop _ever since that fateful day Iruka and Kakashi had suddenly gotten those rings on their hands (as if he wouldn't notice). _Damn _that Kakashi for angering Iruka, the latter had gone to inflict _three tsunami's_, _a giant tornado _and an _earthquake _in almost _every _continent. It wasn't just him that was suffering, Naruto was actually running around _helping _dealing with the reprecussions this would have on the balance of things, and with both of them _working_, neither had been able to see even a hair of each other for the last _two weeks_. Iruka seemed really apologetic about it, and Sasuke couldn't blame the man since he too understood just how i_nfuriating_ Kakashi was. But dammit, he wanted to see Naruto!

"Maa, you missed that country."

Startled, Death almost jumped out of his skin as he spun around and found Kakashi smirking at him. He didn't _need _to see the man's face to know he was smirking (though it would help...). Frowning, he looked down at the list in his hand, which was now categorized by continent which went on to show a list of countries (as to make it easier for him). He'd already finished a lot of his tasks, and was almost returning back to his usual work load, but there, in bold letters was: **CAMBODIA: 156/156 **- he hadn't even touched it.

With a scream, Sasuke lunged at the silver haired bastard-

-only for the bastard to eep and disappear.


End file.
